|Night before 1st surgery|
|Wide eyed baby boy|
So, here we are. Over two and half years later and we're faced everyday with things that are hard for him. And we have to make him do them no matter how frustrated he is or how much he's crying. S is great at it! Me? I struggle! I know it's best to push him and make him learn, but it SO heart-breaking and I just want to do it for him. If I could take it away for him I would! Doing the hard things for him is as close as I can get to taking it away. I have to stop myself and try and picture the self-sufficient grown man that WILL do anything he wants to. Some people might think I'm a mean mom when I'm telling him he has to do it, or he has to figure it out. But I know I'm doing the right thing. He has to work hard!
The most difficult times for me so far are; he didn't say "mama" until he was 2 years old. He didn't sit up on his own until after he was one year old. He never held his own bottle. He couldn't communicate to us what he wanted/needed. When he's playing by himself because he can't keep up with the other kids. When he had some bad falls out of his reverse walker and wouldn't get back in because he was too afraid. When I have to send him in every three to four months to have painful injections into his tightest muscles to help release some of the tone(tightness). When he fell out of the car, face first, into gravel while he was trying to climb into his car seat. The first time some kids made fun of him. And the two hardest things I've had to do so far are 1. Hand over my beautiful, sleeping baby boy to a stranger who was going to remove the front of his skull, re-shape it and the put it back on, and 2. walk up to a hospital bed after said surgery, and not recognize the sleeping baby there but know that it's my son because he has the blanket I sent him into surgery with laid on top of him.
|Playing by himself.|
|Battle wounds from falling out of the car onto gravel.|
The happiest times for me so far are; when he said "mama". the first time he sat up by himself, when he started using sign language to communicate with us. the first time he swung on a "regular" swing. when I watch him playing when he doesn't know I'm watching. When he said "bye-bye" and waved for the first time. the first time he did the actions to a fun songs. the first time he folded his arms. when he cuddles up in my arms. his first prayer. when he's running away from me down a handicap ramp in his walk and giggling hysterically. when he took his first independent steps. when his stood up on his own, when he wakes up EVERY morning with an ear to ear smile and makes me feel like the most important person he knows.
|Fell asleep in swing|
|Tired guy! Camping 2012|
One thing I do know is that our Heavenly Father honestly does love us and helps us (when we allow him to) and blesses us. I believe he sent Mr. M and Litle Miss together because they would rely on each other. It's not always him relying on her. There are times that she needs him just as much as he needs her. They challenge each other and teach each other. I think that as they grown they will find strengths in one another that they themselves don't posses and share it with each other.
|Sibling fun in the back yard.|